Socialization

According to my dictionary socialization is,

The act of fitting for companionship with others. To make sociable in attitude or manners.

The fitting and sociable attitude I desire for my children is for them to know and use good manners, have a strong sense of self-worth, be able to resist peer pressure, and be capable of communicating well with a variety of age groups and personality types. Home schooled children usually score far better in all of these areas. And, I want them to be happy and involved in their communities.

Parents at home with their child can teach and model appropriate manners. Children in school only see other kids' ideas about manners, usually Do unto others before they do unto you or Who can be the grossest? Not my idea of very good manners. They will have to learn different when they reach the adult world.

A homeschooled child does not spend six or more hours a day being torn down, picked on, and teased by other children and even teachers; what would equal verbal, emotional and even physical abuse in the adult world. We, as a society, tell our children Well, that's part of life. Learn to deal with it while criminalizing this abuse in the adult world. I've got news for you. It doesn't have to be that way! A parent taught child receives a controlled, protected environment where they are encouraged to grow at their own rate, and are not belittled for the little differences that all human beings have from each other. Thus, most home taught children have a greater sense of self worth.

Since a home-educated child receives his daily approval from his parents he tends to form stronger bonds with his parents. He doesn't have to give in to peers to feel accepted. This prevents peer pressure and peer dependency (The need to be with and be approved by others your same age, outside of you family, in order to feel like you have any worth.)

A homeschooled child is communicating daily with a wide range of people; parents, siblings, grandparents, neighbors, repairmen, store clerks, etc. A traditionally schooled child communicates with other children in their exact same age and socio-economic group (same income, same neighborhood, same school), when they are allowed to communicate at all. Most of their time is spent shutting up and sitting still so the teacher can talk. You certainly can't have thirty children socializing at the same time while the teacher is teaching. Pandemonium. Who do you think has better, more rounded communication skills?

Children learn how to handle, shall we say, difficult personalities by seeing their parents handle them. They really don't have to learn these skills from scratch. They can glean the accumulated knowledge of preceding generations; much the same way swimming is taught best, by example and careful instruction. Not by throwing them in and hopping they don't drown. Expecting them to learn how to handle difficult people by being with difficult people is like trying to teach a puppy how to protect sheep by letting it run with wolves.

A recent study of grown homeschool students asked them if they were happy, very happy, unhappy, or very unhappy with their lives. Homeschool graduates answered happy or very happy far more often then the general population. The same study also showed them to be far more involved in community and volunteer activities than the general population (and 75% of young homeschool graduate adults vote compared to 46% voters of the same age of the general population!). Colleges and employers are expressing a great deal of satisfaction at the quality of young adults coming out of homeschools. They are generally prompt, respectful and know how to think.

Parents can provide the right amount of time developing friendship skills that they feel are necessary for their child through Little League, dance classes, 4-H, etc. There is a greater danger of children being over extended and becoming peer dependent than under socialized. Different children need different amounts of outside activities. What might be unbearably too little for one child might be way over stimulating and exhausting for another.

The true test of homeschooling, especially its socialization, is whether homeschool graduates would homeschool their own children. The survey mentioned above also asked this question. The vast majority said yes they are or will homeschool their own children.

In summary, aren't all humans being socialized whenever they are in the company of other humans, regardless of age and relation? The question, then, is HOW you want your child socialized, not IF.
THE BIBLE SAYS :
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the Holy is understanding. Proverbs 9:10


In (Christ) are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. Colossians 2:3

Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward. Psalms 127:3

And thou shalt teach (God's Words) diligently unto thy children and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. Deuteronomy 6:7

Fathers (Parents)… bring them (your children) up in the nurture (culture) and admonition (education) of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

He that is not with Me (Jesus) is against Me: and he that gathereth not with Me scattereth… Luke 11:23

...if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God who gives liberally. James 1:5

I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

Pray. God will guide. He loves you and your children and will provide for what you need in everyway if you will let Him.

From the book
Homeschool: Why What How
by Betty Tracy